Confused

I'm confused by a lot of things in life, and everything seems to be crashing at once inside my head. Conflicting ideas and questions and answers.
It seems to me that I've been paying closer attention to the way people do the things they do, and say the things they say. How they mean these things. How their personality contributes to the way they act around others, and by themselves.

I want to scream the words inside my head, that keep on pounding back and forth to be released, but if I do, not only am I scared of what others will think or do, I fear that if by speaking, I am finalizing what I've been pondering.

That it will all become too real for me to deal with.
I wish I could learn to deal, but I can't, and I know it.
I hate this feeling.
I hate these thoughts.
I just want them to end.
I just want them to die.

Will you help me?
Or will you run off, like I foresee everyone around me eventually doing?