Dance?UPDATED. . . long x.x

In school; thought I'd start the new blog post
Well.
Dance.
Tonight.
I dont really care for it.
I'm only going to please people.
Whatever.

More later~
--

So. How was the dance?
Shit, in my opinion.
Only upside? Getting a photo with Mrs Scott(:
It's my phone's screensaver, but I accidentally deleted it from my phone )):
Damnit!
But, yeah. Okay so getting my hair done, I started getting excited. Emily came over, and so did her siblings-totally pointless-and then I started getting stressed. Yay! Not. Then we headed to Josh's, that was actually quite fun :P

After that?
Yeah.
To school x-x
Emily was saying hi to everyone, acting chummy, which was meh, okay, expected but a bit annoying after a while. I got to say hi to all my teachers(: Mrs Scott and Mrs Robtison's sons were SO CUTE!!!
:D

Cassie and Tommy looked so adorable together! It was great to meet Tommy (and Nick. haha. Manga/Anime discussions are fun. FINALLY SOMEONE KNOWS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! That was great. I mean, I know my friends just nod and try to understand, but he understood what I was saying, and it was funny), he and cassie looked soooo cute!

Everyone looked great in their dresses(: Saw a repeat or two, which sucks for the girls, but meh. Me and Abby, turns out, got each other's opposite dress. Like. I had bought the dress she wore, returned, got mine. She had thought about getting mine, but got the other one. That was funny(:

Soooo what was so bad, you ask?
Well, I only went because Becky and Bryn told me to, and for Emily to be able to attend.
I kinda wish Zelina had came with me instead, now that I think about it. I wasn't the only girl to bring a girl-Tanisha brought her bestfriend Chloe. She's totally spazzy and amazing~-which was great. But yeah. I don't dance, so it was really kinda a waste for me to be there.

I started crying like, half way.
don't look at me like that
i'm not one to cry, and to be sitting there, tears flailing about, i hated it. i really did.
why was i crying?
well, lets see, last time I went to a dance? Last night at CSS.

Okay okay, you're all sick and tired about hearing about my love for camp, I get that, I do, but these people mean the world to me. For once in my life, there were people who accepted and loved me for me, no questions asked. I wasn't fake, I told them the truth, and we were the best of friends. That doesn't HAPPEN in my 'real life'. It just, DOESN'T. Don't mean to dissapoint you, but face the facts.

I hung with Becky at random intervals, but then wondered away because the convos had gotten a bit awkward...she looked great thought! lmao tissue paper bow (; and katie looked great in a dress! lol i mean that in a good way!
everyone looked great(:

don't get me started on bryn's hairspray-esk updo XD adorable! and her dress!
TuTu?!!
:P

But yeah. Bryn and Becky? Didn't really see them much.
Jonny and Julia and all kept on trying to get me to dance, which reminded me of Zelina a lot. x-x
I broke the one icetea thingerr. haha. go me?
I learned that the one lunchlady is my godmother/aunt's neighbor, and had talked to my gramma earlier in the day-wanted me to call her.
THAT was interesting
But yeah
i sat on my ass most of the time in the back of the room, texting Zelina and then Karen, with a bit of Zack in there

Whenever I went over to Emily, she'd either walk away, or I would.
So meh.
I was truthfully, absolutely bored there.
The people who said they'd hang with me, simply said, didn't, and when I went over to people or others came to me, I ended up leaving them.
Bad, I know. It also makes me a hypocrite.
Which I hate, btw.

So, as I sat, texting Zelina, the tears just sprang up.
Ed, Jake, and Caleb were sitting near me, so like THAT wasn't awkward.
Then Mr Leigh noticed and came over
x-x
This was during the second tear attack, btw, where it was more than one or two little drops. No. More like an avalanche.
He understood I didn't want to talk and left me, so yay!

What's bad? on my part? At one point I had dropped my phone and didn't realize it; I was so sad and scared then. It was my only connection to camp at that moment in time, and losing it nearly killed me.

Blah

I went to the bathroom-lmao the little basket thing was adorable!-cleaned myself up and then it was time to go.

Oh yeah; another thing that annoyed me.
Char's little after party?
It was all that anyone would talk about, and then people were saying it was 'invitation only' or something, and then that it wasn't, and then that it was. When Josh brought it up-I figured Emily was lying-Emily said how she was invited. Um. Okay. Someone that talks about you behind your back is going to invite you to an afterparty for a dance at the school you no longer attend.
Got it.
I'm really not believing a LOT of the things Emily's been saying. Mainly, because, while she was at the school, she would lie about a lot of things; about going to guidance, creating stories just to be funny and have attention, etc. It gets annoying after a while. A bit 'the boy who cried wolf', if I dare say.

Another thing; I do not give a shit about the party or the photos at Megan's before hand. It was all SO ANNOYING to hear people talk about before hand! ALL Thursday and Friday it was 'what does your dress look like?', 'are you going to megan's?', and 'are you going to char's?'
Um, yeah, you don't GO PLACES YOU'RE NOT INVITED TO ATTEND
Or to places where you hate the majority of the people theres' guts.
Yeah.
Doesn't work that way.

-Extra-
On the topic of things that annoyed me on Thursday and Friday, the constant 'who's your date?' thing annoyed the fuck outta me. It's a fucking NINTH GRADE SEMI FORMAL. the NEED for dates was fucking outrageous! in the beginning, people were like, oh, we're just going as one big group of friends!
Then why the hell did you all get 'dates', even if you say its 'as friends'?!
It's fucking POINTLESS, and a waste of TIME and DRAMA
It makes people ASSUME, as well.
And also ASSUME if you DON'T have a date!
People wonder why so many teens are ending up pregnant.
Oh, I don't know, the constant pressure to have a boyfriend/girlfriend might have something to do with it! At least as a starting factor!
We are only, what, 14-16 years old? We're to fucking immature and young to understand the complexities of love and relationships and all that they truly mean.
It's a whole rant meant for another day, but seriously, by the end of Friday I was fed up with all this couple talk.
I really was.
I find love and relationships to be the most stupid and idiotic thing to believe in.
I REALLY do.
-end Extra-

I really do not want to go to school on Monday, now. People who noticed me crying may or may not bring it up, and the 'may' part is what's scaring me. And Mr Leigh; what if he tries to bring up what happened with the crying? How will I deal with that?
I really don't.
Whenever I talk about camp, people try to understand, but they don't, and then I get annoying, talking about it all the time. I'm sorry for that, but I'm also NOT sorry for it.

All I can say is; the next 5 weeks cannot come fast enough. They really can't.

I'll shut up now.
Excuse the excessive use of 'I' and the random tangents going on and off.
:/